once I chewed my lips
lips large as fingers pushed together     faking lips
like some girls use to practice kiss
I sucked them in     pretended
they were thin      no part of me is
thin      I don’t have tight enough skin
to hold me in       I’m always bursting
through the sutures     ballooning
past the teeth    once I studied my shadow
waxing & waning freely
with streetlight proximity       now I hold
a flashlight behind my head & chant
big     small      big      small       gone